If you’re new to Happily Ever Mom, you probably don’t know that I’m on a quest to find organization tips that work for Moms who get overwhelmed by clutter and messes.
Why?
Because I AM that Mom.
When I see a big giant mess, my first instinct is to walk away. I get overwhelmed just by seeing a big mess. I think to myself:
- Where do I start cleaning up?
- Where does everything go?
- How can I get my kids to help when I can’t even do it myself?
- I should probably start picking up that… *squirrel* <—just me?
Then I don’t know what to do, so I avoid the mess altogether.
Honestly, I’m getting better at it, but that’s primarily because of my husband’s genius idea. He started something in our family that is so simple, I didn’t think it would work…
The Slippery Slope that Leads to Overwhelm
Can you picture this?
Your kids are starting to play and, at first, their toys are contained. They’ve taken out a few books and lined them up in front of their dolls because they’re playing “school.” Then, they take out the Legos – because what reasonable school doesn’t have Legos? Then, they take out some puzzles.
Suddenly, you’ve got different pieces of toys all over the house and you’re wondering if the teachers are going to pick all of it up?
Spoiler alert: the teachers (aka your kids) aren’t picking up those toys.
Meanwhile, you’re cooking dinner. Instead of helping the kids pick up all the toys, you’ve opted to have everyone sit down calmly without bickering over who’s going to pick up what toys. You’d like to give your picky eater a chance to actually eat a bite without fussing.
So, now?
Now, a mound of legos and barbie dolls are left out, and once the kids are in bed for the night, you run towards the couch to finally sit down for a half a minute (priorities, right?).
Is this sounding familiar?
While you may plan to pick everything up tomorrow, we all know that life happens. And, a lot of the time, things like picking up all the toys in the morning just doesn’t happen.
And, that’s when you get overwhelmed by clutter.
Well, at least I do.
When my house gets to that level of messy, it’s hard for me to motivate myself to clean up let alone to motivate the kids!
But, this is where our little trick comes in…
How to Clean Up When You’re Overwhelmed ~ One Simple Strategy
So, there you are, with toys all over the floor. This is when you tell the kids that it’s time to pick everything up, but they’re overwhelmed about starting to pick up the toys too.
I mean, where do you even start when there are toys everywhere?
This is when you tell them NOT to put away the toys. Instead, you (or an older child) throw all of the toys/mess into a BIG pile in the middle of the room.
This part is really important: Don’t try to sort the mess, just throw them into a big pile.
Once everything that’s on the floor, on side tables, on the couch, under the couch, etc. is in a big pile in the center of the room, start sorting into smaller piles.
Is this different from what you normally do?
It was for me too.
I’d normally sort the toys while I walked around the room telling my kids what to put away. I’d say something like, “Okay, L you go get all the barbies to put away. M you grab all the legos.”
But, I found that I was doing too much micromanaging that way.
How to Make Clean Up Time Easier on YOU
Then, I watched my husband clean up with the kids. He took the big goal of putting all the toys away and then he’d help the kids put things away by creating tiny goals.
But, I’ll get to that in a minute.
For now, let’s go back to that big pile of toys you just made…
Now that you have the large pile in the middle of the room, start by sorting things that go to a specific room or place together.
This is where the tiny goals come into play…
In order to get everything cleaned up, we’ve got to teach our kids to put groups of things away in the easiest way possible. Otherwise, they end up feeling overwhelmed too!
Did you catch that? Don’t pile all the stuffed animals together and tell your child to go put their brother’s stuffed animals away in his room, then grab the ones that belong in your room, and finally put away the ones that go in the closet.
Nope.
Pile the stuffed animals that go to the kid’s room together. Then, pile the stuffed animals that go to another room together. Then, finally group the stuffed animals that go to the closet. These little piles that you are making need to go to the same place.
Then, give your kids a pile to take to their place and put away. Or, better yet. Let them choose who’s putting away the toys by asking, “Okay, L – which pile do you want to take? Do you remember which room they go to?”
Tip: make it fun! My kids use baby strollers, dump trucks, and play grocery carts to take things from the pile and put it away – they love it!
We’re almost done…
Keep working until the pile gets smaller and smaller. You’ll probably be left with a few items that are hard to put away.
Those are the first things that we consider donating or getting rid of.
In fact, grab this free printable to help you decide what to get rid of and what to keep.
Why does this work?
- It’s more efficient – you don’t have to spend five minutes trying to figure out where to put ONE annoying toy. From the pile, choose the ones that you can quickly put away first, then figure out the harder ones later.
- It’s less overwhelming – With a big pile, you always know where to start when you’re cleaning up a room – everyone starts in the middle!
- It’s simple – Even toddlers can help bring toys into a big pile in the center of the room, but they can’t necessarily remember where to put toys away. This tactic gets everyone involved. Less fuss is easier for everyone in the family.
Ultimately, having fewer toys around the house will help reduce overwhelm.
But, I don’t find that to be a practical option while my kids are little. Instead? I want to help all of us feel less overwhelmed by the things in our home by teaching my kids a simple system for cleaning up that we do every time we clean up.
Now, every time I say it’s “time to clean up,” my kids start piling all the toys in the middle of the room. We all know exactly what the first step is when it’s “clean up time” and it makes sorting and putting toys away a little easier.
And, that means that I spend less time feeling overwhelmed about cleaning up toys with my kids and more time running towards the couch to sit down – for a few extra heavenly minutes.
Totally worth it, right?
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More Organization Posts from Happily Ever Mom
Oh this is brilliant! My husband does the same! Except it stays in the pile…hidden…until I trip over it. 😉 lol I’ll have to teach him this trick!
Haha, Ashlee! That’s when I threaten to put the whole pile in a trash bag and take it outside for good. I’ve never seen my kids or my hubby move faster!! 🙂
This is great! Something else I do when the kids are overwhelmed even with that, is give them random numbers. “Ok, get 3 things and put them away as fast as you can. Ready. Set, go!” And then after that’s done I give another number. Usually between 1-5.
I do this!! And it works fantastic on he kids’ messes. But I have trouble making it translate to the rest of the house. I feel like I’m drowning in so much stuff I don’t even know where to begin so I just don’t. 🙁
Tell me about it, Shawna. It’s not easy when you get overwhelmed with every day clutter ~ if you come up with another trick, come back and let me know 😉
just start with one room at a time and start with one category at a time. like for example remove dishes from the room and put them in the sink. then dirty clothes. then trash..and so forth. turn off your phone and i tell my kids when they start asking me to do something to help me finish so i can do it or they can do it thierselves. and if you need modivation try some b12 tablets they give me so much energy; -)
I usually observe awhile where things seem to fall, and I put something there to catch them.
Laundry baskets, strategically placed, for example.
And cute places to hang keys and coats.
I’m stumped with the mail system tho…
Pile up all of your clutter but BEFORE you put anything away, go and look at all of the stuff that’s still where it belongs. THAT’S where you’ll find the stuff you can get rid of. Your clutter is the stuff you actually use. The stuff to get rid of is the stuff you DON’T use. Same with clothes. Let the dirty clothes pile up for this same reason – BEFORE you do laundry, clean out your closet and drawers. If you do this once, right in the middle of each season (spring, summer, fall, winter), you’ll never have to worry about it. Don’t keep clothes that don’t fit, don’t keep clothes you’ve been meaning to mend, don’t keep ratty, “hanging around the house” clothes and don’t keep clothes that you “really, really like” but don’t wear.
I know this is an old post but I got to tell you this was a great idea
Having five kids in eight years, I’ve tried many tricks to getting our house somewhat clean. (They are now ages 8 through 16.) One trick that has worked since they were all small was a picking-up game. We would all gather in one room, me with a bag of mini marshmallows or chocolate chips. I would take a careful look around. Then I’d say, “I’m thinking of something made of fabric (or plastic, or paper, or something with the color red, etc.).” The children would hurry to find and put away objects that fit the description. As they each came back, they would ask if they had put away the object I was thinking of. Whomever got the right object put away would get one of the little treats. They just kept picking up until someone guessed and put away the right thing. Sometimes I would think of “two” objects at once so that a child who was working hard but not guessing the right objects would also get rewarded. I usually ended each room with, “I am thinking of something that goes in the trash,” and even the very little scraps of garbage would be picked up. The room was usually done in less than ten minutes. Then everyone who had worked hard on that room would get one or two marshmallows, and we’d move to the next room. It’s amazing how quickly children will work for a tiny reward and a game!
Love that! Great tip, Mary 🙂
Ingenious! My son, who is three, loves “Eye Spy” and works well with rewards. I will definitely be trying this!
🙂 wish I’d thought of that! I’ll be trying that next time.
Awesome ~ let us know how it goes, Rochelle 🙂
I’ve seen something similar for bedrooms, where everything goes on the floor. Maje the bed. Then clothes go on the bed. The toys & books go on the shelves. Things from other rooms go into a basket at the door. The rest on the floor goes in the garbage. The laundry then gets sorted and put in the laundry room.
Love this! I do it all the time! For house clutter I use the same approach but throw everything (my clutter piles) into a laundry basket then sort it out when I’m feeling up to it! Also easy to hide when company comes over 😉
This is exactly the method I use for sweeping! Sweep everything (dirt, trash, laundry, toys, etc) into a pile. Then go through it and get the things that don’t go in the trash into their respective places. Then sweep the trash and dirt up and toss it.
My thing is I work 5 days a week 9 to 10 hour nights its hard to find time cuz when I get off at 3 or 4 am I’m so tired
Oooh, this is so good! I am so easily overwhelmed by clutter! I will be trying this for sure :).
Thanks, Katie! It’s really helped us know where to start when we need to clean up – it’s help my five year old a lot, too 🙂
I usually put the toys into boxes and we take care of boxes one at a time, but basically the same thing. I never really thought about those hard to place items being donated or gotten rid of. It makes total sense though. Glad to have stumbled across this post – I’m going to have to read more of your blog!
So glad you’re here, Resa! 🙂
After years of running a daycare, which involved huge piles of toys daily, my favorite “clean-up” technique is a song by Hap Palmer. The song Thirty Second Challenge. It comes on his CD Can Cockatoos Count By Twos?
The song involves a cleanup anticipation sound–followed by fast paced music(to quickly clean to) followed by sections where you freeze in place. The freeze in place makes the whole thing a game. The words let you know you are trying to beat the song and have it all cleaned up fast! It also helps that all the toys are put away in the same large cabinet–so cleanup happens in one room.
It could easily be applied to other clean ups though. Really any song could be used–fast paced–frenetic–and stop it for freezes–and try to beat the song finished. Hap Palmers song just talks about cleaning and talks about the timing running out–so you have that running through your kids ears as they clean.
I love all of all these ideas. Question, How do I get my husband to kick in with helping to put
things away. I ask for help for whatever room. His comment is always “these are your things,
I don’t know where they go.” So he sits and and read a book all day! While there is stuff
everywhere. I can even give him a basket of items and asked him to sort them by type of item,
i.e. office items, craft things, bathroom things, etc. After 1/2 hour he comes back and tells me he
just can’t do it. He then leaves an goes back to reading . EEEEKKKK! I don’t know what to do.
Saturday we were going to work on cleaning the garage and he just stood around and looked
dumbfounded about what to do. He says it has to do with his PTSD. Blows me away as I don’t
understand how he can’t sort 50 things into 7 sets. What to do???
I think it’s tough to really know how best to help. You’re description sounds similar to what I struggle with. Even a small amount of sorting can be incredibly overwhelming for me…I highly suggest reading, “The Life-Changing Method of Tidying Up.” She has some great tips for people who get overwhelmed and shut down while cleaning. Best of luck!
My husband also has PTSD and loses focus really fast. Maybe he could sort for 15-20 minutes, then read for 10 minutes and so on… if he breaks up the tasks it might not be so overwhelming. I have to label the boxes that the stuff is to be sorted into. One time, he was taking a tool to the garage to put it away, after about 30 minutes I realized he was gone, he lost focus and was working on a motorcycle engine he was rebuilding…hahaha. So if he is gone for too long I know to go and see what’s up!
My teenage daughter does this every time she wants to clean her closet. She takes everything out of her closet and puts it on the floor. She started doing this in her pre-teen years. She has a small room so once everything is out of her closet she can barely open her bedroom door. When she’s finished organizing her closet she always has bags of items to donate.
Love that, Debbie! I’ll have to remember that when my daughter gets older.
These are some of the best unclutter suggestions I have read anywhere…. I do the ‘put it all in a basket’ and then carry the basket around, gathering from the next room and putting away whatever belongs here from the basket. I like this method because it means I can put everything from a side/coffee table and then dust and oil that pc of furniture…mess is in basket, but when I leave with the basket, the room already looks good and hasn’t been vacumned yet. But some of your refinements seem great…. and if you have a husband who can’t focus long enough to figure out what to do, dump all laundry on his reading chair WITH a timer…you may be cleaning by yourself, but he will be sorting, washing, drying when the bell goes off, washing, drying, folding…. he might not be able to do some things but that doesn’t mean he can’t do anything. He will either keep the laundry done for you, giving you time to get other chores done, or his PTSD will improve and he will be capable of other help. I like the number thing….my version of that used to be …”try to find everything with wings on it and take them all to the toy shelf” and then “now see if you can get everything with wheels out of the pile and park them in their spots”…..and then…. “let me know when you have every single red thing off your floor so I can see it”…. (this because this method requires frequent back-patting and praise…. but soon, there is nothing left but trash, the job has been segmented for the 5 yr old, the floor is ready to run a vac over, and the kid has had a sense of accomplishment 5 or 6 times while learning how to decipher a problem for himself and break it down into manageable portions.
Great idea. I found a similar technique by accident when our house was on the market and needed to be clutter free for showings. When we had to prepare for a showing, I would grab an empty laundry basket and do a quick sweep of the house anything that was out of place got thrown in the basket to save time and then it went in the trunk of the car. After the showing, I would then put all the stuff in the basket away. It was faster and easier than running around from room to room find the right place for things. I only had to visit each room once to put away everything that belonged there.
The only time this backfires is if you don’t put away the stuff in the basket after tidying up. Lol And, it won’t work for larger toys and such. But, I really need to get back to doing this on a regular basis! The clutter is making me crazy!
Yes! I love this idea, Darcy, and I think your’e right…the hardest part is making sure that you empty the basket!! 🙂
Hi I just wanted to say I have used this trick for years and it is a real sanity saver. I have 6 kids 3 are grown and moved out now, but as you can imagine when they were all little things could get messy fast and in a big way. Like you I’m overwhelmed by clutter so my mom suggested this method when my oldest were babies and it has worked great for us. I think that’s because it seems like it doesn’t take as long this way.
Oh my goodness! That’s how my husband cleans! 😉
Haha! I love that we have that in common, Paula! 🙂
I just stumbled across this post today and I must say I love it! I also love the basket idea. I’m a single mom to a busy 6 year old, and am I full time student myself. I have become completely overwhelmed with the mess at home lately. I think these ideas will really help me get things back in shape at home. Thank you!!
I am SO happy to see someone else use this method. I have used it for a long time but my family always thinks I am nuts when I do it. My outlook on it has been to put the pile in a very inconvenient place. The bedroom, it goes on the bed that way if you want to go to bed anytime soon you will get it put away. The living room, in front of the tv or put the remotes at the bottom of the pile. Want to watch tv anytime soon, then put the stuff away!!!!
Yes, I love this method too! And, what a great tip about where to make the piles. I often pile everything in the middle of the floor, but I love the idea of the bed ~ genius 🙂
My husband and I were just talking about how I get so overwhelmed when the house is cluttered like this and I just walk away from it and then he gets mad lol! Thanks for this concept! I’ll def. have to try it next time!
I’m exactly the same way, Heather! Hope this helps 🙂
Great advice 😀 i’ve been searching high and low for literally years trying to basically find the magical spell to get rid of the clutter, as i get very overwhelmed as well, causing me to never even try out all the stuff i’m reading about :/
For years i’ve been throwing out a (large) plastic bag or 3 almost every month and now i’m down to the stuff i feel i can’t get rid of. But i still don’t have the room for it so it’s just in boxes and piles in my one room apartment (here in DK 1 room is 1 room, not 1 + a bedroom) And it’s hard when you have a million hobbies :p
When i was a kid and had to clean my room i used to take a broom and pull everything on the floor into a pile and then sit and sort it. And it worked. Why i stopped doing it, i don’t know, but it might be worth bringing back 😀
The only other thing that worked was, if i convinced my mother to come in and sit and tell me what to take first, and then next and etc. but i don’t think that’s a solid solution (or that i could talk her into that at the age of 26 haha) So gonna try the pile trick 😉
How ’bout just teaching your kids to clean up after themselves in the first place?
Years ago my mother and I had a small daycare center. All of the children were between 18 months and 4 years old. Their toys were kept on a bookcase, and they were taught that if they wanted a toy they had to put away what they were playing with and then get the toy if it was on the shelf. If another child had it, and that child was willing to give it up, the toy had to be put on the shelf for the 2nd child to take. That way each child was responsible for always cleaning up after themselves. We never had fights over toys and the adult cleanup at the end of the day was a snap.
Sounds like you found a system that works for you!
I agree what I did for my son and the 4 kids i babysat. I learend from a book by Daryel Hoole . What she taught was wonderful. She made fabric sack with draw strings with little platic window hung on hooks in the closet That way you could tell what was in each bag. Child played with one bag .When they went on to the next thing They put all toys away in the bag .Then they got next bag. Big toys were on a pull out cabinet on wheels that fit into bottom of closet. You know by doing it this way we rarely lost or broke a toy. Never stepped on toys either. Daryel also suggest if liveing rooms the only place to play and company comming have kids play on a sheet That way if it has to be cleard fast you grab the sheet up and place in another room.
Love this, Diane! What great tips.
I’ve been using this “trick” since I had my first child almost 18 years ago. Every time they see “the pile” they’re amazed that they made that big of a mess. I tried to use the same technique on my husband years ago, but he was way more stubborn and I ended up cleaning up his pile.
That’s what I always used to do. I don’t know why I changed… maybe I should try it again!
I am working through Marie Kondo’s book though, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It’s very helpful in figuring out what to keep and what to give/donate/throw.
Interesting idea…worth a shot. Only in our living room I’d be afraid of papers getting rumpled in the pile, so maybe two piles (one for papers and books and the rest for everything else).
Hi Gale,
I agree. We keep our papers separate. In fact, I have a separate post about this very topic! If you search “paper piles” on the site, you should see the post 🙂
This has worked for me with my 4 year old. usually the end of the pile is trash. if she refuses to put the toys away then i remind her .. then it must be trash or give it to another kid then she will either put it away or choose that she doesn’t want it anymore
Omg this is how I have been cleaning for years…its genius! I use a broom to sweep everything to one spot. The real bummer is when I realize I could sweep the same size pile 2 hours later! Lol
This is how I clean! Glad I’m not alone. It’s also great bc I have my daughter sweep everything out from under her bed or dresser and there is nothing left behind! My mom taught us to clean this way when we were kids.
Love it, Megan!
I love this idea. Having one starting point, even though the mound may be very large, is so helpful for staying on task.
It really has helped us, Karen! My kids always know what to do first when we go to clean up a room 🙂
I think this is a great idea, and I have thought of a way that might make it even more fun… at least the gathering part.
Get a rake from the garden– make sure it’s not muddy — and use it to create your pile! Or you can have all the kids help make the pile using brooms.
What a fun idea, Tawl!! Thanks for sharing it with us. 🙂
I use a large plastic yard rake to rake everything into the middle and go through it from there. The whole family knows that big ol’ plastic rake is not to be used for outdoors or anything other than helping a pile of clutter disappear! Floor looks instantly cleaner! Glad to see you sharing this!
“…when you’re exhausted…” (you are = you’re)
It’s difficult to turn off being a teacher 🙂
I got very overwhelmed with my laundry pile! A mentor friend of mine came over and suggested (actually she grabbed the basket as I watched) and said “Do the towels first, they take up the most bulk in your basket(s) and you will immediately feel better because half of your basket it already empty!” This is a method I still use 30 years later!
This is awesome. I have been doing these things for a while now. My kids are getting better at organizing especially their toys, clothes and books.
This is great! specially when you have are a very busy mom 🙂
Yes, we mums have to navigate through a lot of challenges in orden to keep, yes, the daily order. I’m a Danish mum and love all shortcuts to clutter free areas – and Danish Hygge. Go for it.
Some tips:
Everything has to have a permanent address, otherwise you cannot take it home.
Talk with your stuff and ask: Where do you live?
Everything has to have a purpose in your life
Ask: What do you do for me in my life?
There is a time for everything
Ask: Are we still best friends or have we reached a goodbye?
And Hygge… Hygge is the perfect moment of joy, peace and harmony.
Learn more here: “Goodbye Clutter, Hello Freedom. How to Create Space for Danish Hygge and Lifestyle by cleaning up, organizing and decorating with care.
Have a lovely and hyggelig day
Lena Bentsen, Denmark
http://www.lenabentsen.com
What a fun idea. Our play room is like a catch all for stuff from all over the house, my children cart it in and it stays there until I can get up the gumption to gather of it. We will have to try this tomorrow.
Thanks, Anne! It really has made a big impact on our house because we all know the first step when we say it’s clean up time. The sorting and putting away just fall into place afterwards. Good luck!
Thank you great subject and ideas