Building a routine for kids has been on my mind lately.
While some people might call my son stubborn, I prefer to say that he’s determined. Whatever you call it, I wish I could apply some of my son’s “determination” to folding and putting away laundry (I’d never have to fold the laundry again!). While we are always looking for new ways to motivate him to do what we NEED him to do, we have found one idea that has stuck well: building a daily routine at home.
We’ve been told time after time to develop a routine for our home. We’ve had routines evolve over the course of my preschooler’s development, but at around age 2 (he is 3.5 now), when we began potty training, he resisted everything! Sound familiar?
So we developed a chart that he could follow, to rein in his determination (*ahem* stubbornness…) and set him up for success.
We developed a wall chart routine in writing just like I did for my students as an elementary school teacher.
It simply listed each item that we needed to accomplish during the day. We used simple words: wake up, potty time, breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth…
How to Build a Routine for Kids at Home
While a similar chart could be created in any style, there were three keys to the routine:
1. The routine was written in words AND with identifiable photos.
We used icons, but photos of the child actually performing the task would be amazing. Each photo and word was repeated when the task was repeated. This helped him know what to do without argument with less argument. This also gave our family a solid “keyword” for each task. It added a lot more “First do this, then do that” language into our vocabulary. We found such language much more effective than “If you do this, then we will do that.”
2. My husband and I had to stick to the routine, too!
If we wanted him to respect the routine, we had to be respectful of it as well. We did have changes and we would add them with clothespins and a slip of paper or front load him about changes. Of course, adaptability is important. We would sometimes flip flop tasks or make changes in the schedule to keep things spicy.
3. We included all parts of the day, no matter how trivial we thought they were.
Our routine chart was a list that was taller than my son. Be especially sure to include the tasks that are most daunting to your child. Brushing teeth, getting dressed and using the potty were our sticking points. When he saw them on the chart, he was less resistant to doing them. Also seeing tasks he enjoyed, like playing outside, helped him push through the daunting tasks.
This probably won’t solve all issues of determination. It certainly didn’t in our home, but to this day, we still ask my son, “What’s the first thing on the agenda?” (Answer: go potty). He sighs, uses the facilities, and asks for breakfast… sometimes even with a smile.
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