Stranger *always* seem to have random advice for new parents.
I remember so many times when I heard things from strangers that made me think, “Wait. What?” Like the time a few women came over to me while I was sitting at an airport and they took my six month old from my arms WITHOUT ASKING. (Yes, that really happened) Technically, they didn’t actually say anything to me, but it still left me thinking about how I had never experienced something like that before! The very act of having a baby entered me into uncharted territory with strangers. While I hope you can’t relate to that story, I do think that there are a few interactions from strangers that we have all experienced. (Be sure to read #5 if you’re feeling frustrated with all of the unwanted advice too)
1. People will think you don’t have a clue.
Having a new baby is kinda like when you get a new job.
Lots of people will look at you and think, “they don’t know what they’re in for” or “it’s so easy now, just wait.” You’re the new guy at work, so to speak. So, expect people to think that you don’t know what you’re doing. In some regard, you don’t know yet because parenting is all about learning on the job and learning from experience. With a baby, you’re just starting that learning process. But, remember, that doesn’t mean you aren’t capable and amazing – new guys totally rock.
2. People will stop and swoon.
People love to remember their own babies.
Remember that a lot of the people who stop and look at your baby have long forgotten what it’s like to have a baby in their arms (let alone that newborn smell). Most of the time, people stop to remember a time in their lives that they truly miss and they don’t care that it’s your baby. You might have to remind them that they baby belongs to you so they don’t walk away… remember that time it happened to me? Yah, be careful out there new parents!
3. People will stop and stare.
Just as much as you’ll find a people who adore looking at your baby, there are others who will give you cold hard stares. Like when you walk on an airplane with a baby or when your baby starts screaming in a restaurant. Just let it go. You’re allowed to live your life as usual…even with a baby.
4. People will think they know better than you.
People love to give advice. And, you will hear a lot of it. But, 99% of the advice that you receive has nothing to do with your child. Why? Because random people on the street, don’t know your baby like you do. They don’t know when what soothes them, what their personality is like, and when and how they like to fall asleep. They will tell you to hold your baby like this, or feed your baby like that in an effort to “help,” but just because they offer advice doesn’t mean it will work. Take advice with a smile (if you can) and proudly continue to parent your child your own way. It’s okay to disagree and keep on going.
5. People are just people.
Don’t forget that all parents are just people. And, people aren’t perfect. So, learn early to take people’s advice, suggestions, and everything else with a grain of salt (even mine).
Because most advice from strangers has nothing to do with you and your baby.
Instead, it comes from their experience with their babies.
And, while you’ll remember what they say, especially when they’re words sting or hurt, I guarantee they’ll forget all about it once they walk away.
This was my first lesson in parenting – there are many roads to the same mountain. And, you know the road that’s best for you and your baby.
So, just keep walking.
[…] do. But for the parents, well, usually nothing is more annoying and unwanted. Read this article by Katie Joiner at Happily Ever Mom for the most common pieces of “advice” you will get as a new […]